What if We All Just Enjoyed the View?

In the past few days I've noticed houses, here and there, being lit up with Christmas lights. Which makes a lot of sense. The stores started filling the aisles with bows and bigger-than-life blow ups before the end of October, so naturally a good amount of it has made its way into, and outside our homes.

The early proliferation of holiday decor going up isn't bothersome to me. What is, is people asking to not be judged for their early decorating. As if they've broken some kind of unwritten rule. Sort of like the Blue Sunday thing we don't abide by much anymore. But there are those who think we should. People apologizing for deciding to put twinkly lights up on their home, drag the tree out of the attic and let the kids decorate it, then piling up on their sofa to watch The Grinch or Elf.

It got me thinking. When did it become anyone's business what day on the calendar anyone else decorates their home, or begins to celebrate a holiday? And how much? What if they want to cover their house and lawn until it resembles something from Christmas Vacation? (Except if you live next to this display, when I can see you might want to go somewhere oceanside til the New Year ushers in.)

Which leads me to - when does it become our business to weigh in on whether a woman stays home, sans paycheck, or if she puts on makeup and leaves every day? Aren't both W.O.R.K.? For the love of God, literally, can we agree on that for a start? What about whether that mother chooses to sag her breasts by nursing her baby, or to give it formula from the get go? Or never allow hauling around a wubbie or paci,  or letting them haul around and / or suck on the thing until they cross the stage to get their diploma?

What about whether we sing old, traditional hymns, accompanied by robe-wearing choirs, or raise our hands to music accompanied by a bit too loud drums and a bass, and possibly a long-haired, tatted up worship leader.

What about all those tattoos? And the current trend of blue and pink and green and purple hair, on all ages? What about those who have both - tattoos and bright hair? What about that?!

Heavens! What about Santa versus no Santa? I heard that entire conversation just this past week from a young woman who doesn't even have children yet, but she's already trying to figure out the right way to go.

I don't think it was ever supposed to be this complicated.

What about whether we're right wing, or left? Especially far to either side?

And how do we feel about those leading the whole woman's movement today? What about those doing the reporting, and those who think it's all a plot for women to seize power and overthrow the world?

Do we send our kids to catch the school bus every day, or keep them home, and teach them ourselves from the kitchen table? And quality of education aside, isn't the issue that some of us are concerned whether or not they'll turn out normal if they go to school, and socially awkward if they stay home? As if all kids who go to public school end up perfectly well adjusted socially, and all those homeschooled dress and act weird? Is that the case and I missed it?

Do we go gray or keep dyeing? And how about the whole aging process? Do we square our shoulders and watch the wrinkles gather at the corners of our eyes, or do we pay to inject and bolster up whatever's starting to sag southward? And admit to doing so? Especially if it's not wrinkles around the eyes we're talking about?

What if we sip a glass of wine in the evening or over dinner with friends out in the open where God and everyone can see? Or what if we abstain? When did that become something to judge others over?

Do we watch R-rated movies, whether it's out in public or in our living room on Netflix, or stick to Disney all the way? And what about all those sit-coms we don't admit to watching? Exactly who IS watching Big Bang Theory or reruns of The Office and can they own up to that or will they be socially stoned in some circles?

And speaking of stoned..... I have a relative who just owned up to using medicinal hemp oil for miscellaneous ailments. What about that?

Do we spank our kids in the checkout line of Target when they go into full meltdown mode, or are we those parents who kneel down and explain to these miniature people through a series of paragraphs they're causing us all to lose our witness?

Do we eat regular ole white flour pasta, or go gluten free? Cook with stainless or risk our life and use teflon? Shop at Walmart, killing the unions, or spend an enormous chunk of our take home at the organic place where we bag our own?

Do we eat at the semi-healthy fast food places, or pull through the drive up and order burgers and fries for supper? Again.? Which leads to - do we keep our vehicles pristine or could we, or at least the dog, live off what's rattling around in the floorboards?

Do we clean our own toilets or hire someone to come in and muck the place out now and then? Or even every week, admitting that we could but we don't choose to?

Read old classics or books with the name Gray in them?

And what about disposable versus cloth? Do we start teaching our kids phonics so they can all get scholarships to fancy colleges? Or let them figure it out at their own pace, and maybe even decide it's okay if not every single kid in America goes to college?

Or let them play video games or only read books? Will they melt brain cells and automatically become obese? And what about parents whose kids get chubby? Whose fault is that? Especially if you, as a parent, are a bit filled out yourself, and let's be honest - doesn't that include the majority of us?

The more I think about it, the longer the list grows. It seems to me the problem isn't that people live differently than I do. That's a given. But what happens when MY people, MY circle makes choices different than mine? Is it just possible that we could all give each other a break? Maybe we could realize there's a chance we're not as right as we think we are. Some of our own choices that we're making today, in this season of life, in the circumstances we're in right now, might they change with time?

And if they don't? If we don't see life at all differently a week, or month or year or five years or ten years down the road from right now, what does that say about us? I once had someone close to me, in their 90's, tell me that given the chance they wouldn't change a single thing. Seriously?

That is quite possibly the dumbest thing anyone has EVER said to me. And yes, I judged.

I'm not jumping on the whole tolerance bandwagon. The ole saying, "stand for something or fall for everything" is still a good thing, but maybe, just maybe we don't need to be judging anyone who chooses differently than we, ourselves do.

I am amazed sometimes to hear someone tell me how judgmental someone else is, when it's clear they're also judging them for being judgmental.

On it goes....

All three of our kids have had their backsides thinned down by biblical correction, some more than others. If I could go back I'd spank some less, and some a tad more. I've sat through movies with the F word flying back and forth because the story line was good, and I've walked out of a few. Our kids went to public school but if I could do it again, they might not. At least for part of their educational years. We ate sloppy joes on cheap buns and drank koolaid; maybe, just maybe I could have fed them a bit more broccoli and fewer tater tots and corn dogs as they were maturing those brain cells.

I used to drink a glass of wine a few times a year. Now I spend most evenings sipping a glass, talking over the day with my husband. Sometimes I'm completely scandalous and have two. I've stayed home with kids, to end the day in a puddle of tears from the sheer relentlessness of mothering, and gotten up and gone out the door, leaving behind a kid with a fever, praying the babysitter won't feel their forehead and call me back because I couldn't afford to miss work. Or because I just needed a day away with adult conversation.

I've cleaned my own house, let it go untended and hired someone else who speaks very little English to scrub my toilets so I had time for other things. I've paid for three sets of braces, and am still not sure if those teeth went crooked from letting them suck on pacis too long. I've turned into a hot mess in the grocery line, and only sometimes did I have the presence of mind to wait til we were in the car before explaining that they were grounded for the foreseeable future.

I've yelled at a kid two inches from their face, and not cared if the neighbors heard, which they likely did. I've also apologized to my kids, something my parents certainly never did.

I've voted for people I don't agree with, and wondered if anyone really understands politics today, especially those who think they do. What if I'm completely wrong and should have gone the other way?

I've bared a breast, wincing as a baby latched on, and I've propped up a bottle of formula with a folded cloth diaper, completely exhausted.

I'm thinking maybe putting up a Christmas tree before Halloween won't send a person to Hell in a hand basket. Maybe they can just put the thing up, not apologize for doing so, and the rest of us, who wait til after Thanksgiving, can drive by their house, and just enjoy the view.

Just thinking.