Lily goes to Canada

Some of you who follow me on Facebook know that about a month ago I tried to find a new home for our 6 year old Shih Tzu, Lily.

Cub Sweetheart had retired after working for the same company for 34 years, and we'd finally emptied our house of kids and four leggeds, when I went through a bout of being needy. We adopted Lily when she was less than a year old, a knee jerk reaction to our daughter moving 2000 miles away, and my struggles to adjust to retirement and two neighborhoods in a row where I didn't know a soul. If I'd been under forty I would have had another baby, but forty was a distant memory so I decided to get a pet.

Lily, originally known as Diamond, was originally adopted by a woman who'd never had a dog before, but she still worked outside her home. Consequently, Lily spent her days in the middle of the living room floor, locked in a little pink kennel. When her owner would come home, she was allowed out for a few hours, then she'd be locked in again for the night. Our family had only had golden retrievers before Lily, so I didn't realize Shih Tzu's are companion dogs. That's their only job, be your buddy, stay by your side 24/7.

I'm actually more of a cat person, and had previously tried to adopt a cat, twice, from the humane shelter. Miss Kitty didn't care a whit about me, but became obsessed with CS. Marshall liked me, but Miss Kitty hated Marshall, and nightly fighting ensued to the point of teeth being embedded in the living room carpet, so that eventually we had to re-home both.

So I switched to dogs.

My only criteria in choosing a dog was it would fit where my feet go on an airplane. I knew we'd have to fly back and forth from Texas to Idaho with this future dog, and it couldn't weigh more than 20 lbs. I did a google search and came up with a few breeds that fit the bill. One had a funny little face, an overbite and big eyes, and I went from there.

Before I brought Miss Lily home, CS gently suggested perhaps, just maybe, do ya' think? our lifestyle wasn't terribly conducive to owning a dog. We live half the year in Dallas, and the other half in northern Idaho. We fly back and forth, drive back and forth, and wherever we are, we're gone a lot. Golden Retrievers can be a bit neurotic, but they don't tend to be clingy.

Shih Tzu's invented the word.

I didn't know that.

and really, it was all about me. My needs, my loneliness. Which would have worked well if I'd been single, with a calm, stay in one place life. Hindsight, isn't it great?

I remember walking into the living room where Diamond, soon to be Lily, was sitting. Seeing this teensy 6 1/2 lb, big-eyed creature and being amazed it was a whole dog. I called her to me, and she happily climbed into my lap. Thirty minutes later CS and I walked out with her, and drove away.

God bless CS, who so rarely tells me no, even when he should.

Within a pretty short time, we thought perhaps she hadn't been completely house broken, but with time we realized what we were dealing with was separation anxiety. She HATED being alone, and would leave a teensy, teaspoon sized pee spot to let you know. I worked to be sure she was fully trained, and CS installed a doggie door, which she readily used. Problem solved.

Over the next couple of years we had incidents where hotel managers phoned us at the pool to let us know nobody would rent the room next to us because a certain 8 lb someone, who never barked otherwise, was raising all sorts or ruckus because we'd left her alone. Whenever we took her to the groomer she'd start to shake all over. After a stay at a kennel she'd refuse to eat for days. If we'd leave her at home too much she'd go outside and sit by the gate, waiting for our return. And any time we'd come home after being gone a few hours was like Fifty First Dates.

Over the past two years or so I've realized we had a serious and growing problem; that while Lily was absolutely devoted to us, and us to her, she was also completely stressed out. Being left alone too much, riding in cars, staying in kennels, flying on planes - it began to have a cumulative affect on her.  She began to hate the vacuum, fireworks, storms. We'd put her in the car for a ride and she'd promptly throw up.

We also were feeling the stretch, from the guilt of leaving her, or trying to travel with her.

We've been in Idaho the past three months, and it's time to drive our car back to Texas, a road trip that ultimately has us on the road or gone for almost three weeks. Then we'll fly back to Idaho for another 6-8 weeks, before we fly back to Texas for the winter. Not the calmest life - for us, or for her.

I knew I needed to finally deal with this situation, do the hard thing, do what was best for her and for us. While she's still only six, and before we make this long trip and leave her kenneled for a long stint, again. She's likely less than halfway through her life span, and I didn't want to ask someone to adopt our old dog, but rather one that is still frisky and fun and able to go for walks, jump up on the bed or chase a grandchild.

My first attempt to find her a new owner, about a month ago, was disastrous. Texts and phone calls with people who were either semi-crazy, depressingly needy or told me of their plans to have Lily out on their boat, on the water living the high life. Lily hates water, and my idea of a better home wasn't for her to lie on the bed all day next to someone severely depressed. Just being honest. I thought I'd found a possible home for her, but as I drove down the road, on the phone with the prospective new owner, tears rolling down my face, I knew I needed to rethink the situation.

After a month off to take a deep breath, I prayed. I told God I didn't really think He was necessarily overly concerned about my little puppy. Understandable with all the other stuff He's busy with, but I did think He cared about me. So could he please send me one not crazy person, preferably an older woman who needed a buddy. Someone compassionate, kind, gentle, who would love her.

The next day I posted an ad on a well-known and trafficked website, thinking I'd followed all the directions. It's very complicated to try to re-home a pet. You can't sell them but you shouldn't give them away or the horrible dog fight ring people apparently try to get them. But if you don't follow all the rules they kick out your ad. So don't give them away, but don't charge any money.

Within 30 minutes a woman contacted me, telling me she'd recently lost her 13 year old Shih Tzu this past spring, and she was looking for a somewhat older companion dog, preferably a Shih Tzu. Thirty minutes after hearing from her I was notified my ad didn't follow the rules and it had been removed. I decided to trust God that this woman was my one person, and see what happened.

The next day Deb pulled up at our house, and what I noticed most was her twinkly blue eyes, and the wrinkles around her eyes, which I like to think come from years of smiling. She spent some time getting to know Lily, and told me, 'yes, please, I'd love to have her. Can I take her now?'

Thirty minutes later I hugged Lily goodbye, and put her in Deb's hands. I tried to tell her how I was trusting her to be good to her, love her and care for her, but my words were just a big blubbery mess. Deb, God bless her, took Lily out of my hands, and told me she could just ride in her lap all the way back to Canada, where she will live. She assured me Lily will sleep next to her pillow every night, she'll go anywhere and everywhere Deb goes, and she'll have new grandchildren to enjoy. She'll never spend time in a kennel, and it will be very rare for her to be alone. They will be buddies for the rest of Lily's life.

These past few days have felt weird. It's sort of amazing how big a presence such a small creature can have. I walk in the house and she's not there to greet me. I climb in bed at night and she's not next to my pillow. There's nobody to walk in the morning. Nobody to share ice cream with at night. The house feels odd, incomplete, and quiet. But Deb texted me after Lily's first night with her, and assured me she'd settled into the middle of the bed, and had made her way up to the pillow. They were settling in nicely and Deb thanked me for giving her 'the most amazing gift.'

I know she'll be less stressed, and ultimately happier with Deb. And CS worked way too hard to have our retirement years dictated by my emotional baggage.

I wish I knew how a dog thinks, how their mind works. Hopefully she'll be like A Dog's Purpose, and just move on to her next 'people', and not miss us. I'm trusting God that she'll forget me before I forget her.

It's been an awfully sweet five years with my little buddy, so here's to new starts - for us, for Deb and for sweet Lily.