Why I Quit Reading My Bible.....

Over the past twenty years I've read through the Bible multiple times, from Genesis 1:1 - 'In the Beginning' - all the way to trying to cram in the end of Revelation, 'Come Lord Jesus' before midnight of December 31. 

Early in my Christian walk I'd found a mentor through books, by the name of Ann Ortlund; she listed reading through her Bible, start to finish, every single year, as something paramount in her life. So I decided to emulate her. 

Sometimes I read following the guide in the back of my Bible, sometimes I read big chunks (think books like Ruth or Joshua) (do not think books like Leviticus, which can only be accomplished in very small doses with a side order of Psalms or Proverbs). 

The very first time I made it through it felt like I had climbed some huge mountain, or run a marathon, or won the hotdog eating contest they hold every single year (so horrifying!), all feats I was sure I wasn't capable of, so that when I saw that I COULD do it, I decided to do it again the next year, and the next and the next. 

Except once in awhile I'd skip a year. I wouldn't start and stop, I just wouldn't start. I'd choose a different study, or devotional book. Then I'd remember my mentor Ann and get back at it. 

Over the course of those years I'd come across a verse or chapter and feel like I'd never seen it, let alone read it. That was somewhat bothersome since I knew I'd read it multiple times, but it obviously hadn't sunk in. That gave me reason to pause and wonder how well this plan of mine was really working. 

But being a creature of habit, the morning of January 1, 2020 I grabbed my first cup of coffee, curled up in my favorite chair and opened my Bible to read 'In the Beginning.....'. There's something so perfect about January 1 of any year and reading that verse. It feels like an offer to get a complete fresh start, and don't we all need a fresh start at least once a year? 

Then covid happened and the entire world went crazy. We were in the Dallas metroplex, where there were daily outbreaks in the hundreds, schools were closed, stores and restaurants closed, libraries closed, my hairdresser closed, church closed. 

Life felt so completely off kilter, with very little making sense, so I decided to start over again, no matter that it was June, not January. I was somewhere past the middle of the Old Testament, I could see the Gospels in the wings, and I decided to stop. I realized I was pretty much reading and checking off books and chapters, but getting very little or at least not nearly enough out of it to continue. A covid crazy world showed me I needed much more.

So I grabbed a spiral journal, and a book currently on the table next to my favorite chair. There is always a teetering stack of books, so I just chose one - A Gentle Answer by Scott Sauls, and I bought a new version of the Bible, The Message. I decided I needed to hear it in my everyday language, because something in life needed to be simple and easy to understand. The Message is so wonderfully written that you can just use that technique of opening it up, letting your finger fall on the page and start reading, and it'll speak to you. 

So my new routine is to not read through the Bible in a year, one day at a time. My new routine is not to check off a list. For me this isn't the year of checking off anything, but rather looking at life through new eyes, and getting down to what is very real and straight forward and easily applied to my life. Each day now I still grab that cup of coffee. I also grab the heating pad and turn it up to high to warm up the back of my chair (the mornings here in northern Idaho are around 45 degrees and warm just feels nice.) Then I open my journal to a fresh page, and I start with a list of what I'm thankful for or what was a blessing in the past 24 hours, or what I'm looking forward to that day. Then I write a list of what I'm depending on God for - whether it's for a back to not hurt so much, for me to actually get around to cleaning the bathrooms, or for all our family and beyond to be protected from covid. I open my Message up to wherever it lands, and read whatever my eye lands on, then when I feel like I've gotten a heart full I read my book, currently on being Gentle, for awhile. 

I grab my second cup of coffee, and come back to my chair for a time of quiet prayer. Of meandering conversation with God about the day, the issues, the things that feel insurmountable, and a minute of thanking God for all those things I used to take for granted like walking into our local library or being able to walk into our church or eat at Olive Garden again or being able to hug my small circle of people, and hold onto them a little bit longer than I used to. 

I don't know what my routine will be on January 1, 2021, but I don't really see that I'll go back to checking off a list any time soon. In fairness, I didn't quit reading my Bible, rather I switched from reading it to say I did, to checking off a list, to something more purposeful, to spending time every morning meandering through wherever I found myself, to journaling, to taking time for talking with God. I may spend the first few minutes I'm awake on January 1, 2021 to read the first chapter of Genesis and soak in those words again, 'In the beginning God.....' because it really is too good to pass up, but one thing covid has made very clear to me is that life is about so much more than making lists. 

PS Teetering on my end table for early morning devotions:

Befriend and Jesus Outside the Lines, both by Scott Sauls

Boundaries (a re-read) by Cloud and Townsend

Celebration of Discipline by Foster