Commitment of Contentment

Our wedding photo, laminated, the only photo I carry in my wallet

I wore a dress I'd sewn out of pink double knit, and he wore a baby blue leisure suit that would have fit into any John Travola movie which included a disco ball.

It was March, in North Dakota, so Cub Sweetheart wore his seasonal beard. I was still sporting the shag that was so popular at the time.

We drove to the local courthouse, and went downstairs to the basement where a Justice of the Peace cleared off his paper strewn desk, and proceeded to ask us a few questions that would seal us for a lifetime.

Our two friends, John and Connie, stood by as witnesses, and afterwards we went to their home for a glass of champagne.

There was very little to our ceremony; we went away for one night to a hotel in Bismarck, North Dakota, while four year old Sarah stayed with an older couple we sort of - barely knew. In North Dakota pretty much everyone is good people, and that may be because most of the year it's just too cold to venture out and get into trouble.

I still remember being blissfully happy that I was marrying this man.

We're getting close to forty years (next year) but we're already making plans to take a Mediterranean cruise to celebrate, because who knew we'd make it?! Many don't, but especially those who have the odds stacked against them. A second marriage for both of us, a family history filled with divorce, we really hardly knew each other, money was tight, and life was stressful.

Somewhere around age forty or so, while we were deep into this marriage, and swamped with careers and raising kids and bills and such, and we were in a stage where the romance was waning a bit thin for both of us, I drew a line in the sand, staked a claim and said this would be forever. No matter what. Divorce would never be an option for us. Even if we made each other miserable, we would figure it out until we liked each other again, but we wouldn't quit on each other.

This year I chose 'Cherish' as my word of the year, based on a book of the same name by Gary Chapman. I want to learn, 39 years in, to do a better job of cherishing this man God has given me. I want him to be my first choice in everything, and I want him to know it.

Here's what Chapman says about marriage:

When any woman gets married, she agrees - consciously or not - to a commitment of contentment. She forever resets the boundaries for what makes her content. She doesn't get to compare her husband with other husbands (critically comparing is what girlfriends should do with boyfriends, not what wives should do with husbands) because to her, he must become the only man in the world. 'I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine', Song of Songs 6:3.

This year we celebrated Valentine's Day by going out for a lunch of tacos, then dinner at home with quiche and rocky road ice cream and a movie rented on Amazon.

Sometimes life is celebrated by taking a cruise of the Mediterranean. Sometimes it's just staying home together, no cards, no flowers (he sends them to our girls instead), no eating out with music in the background, no dressing up. Just the two of us, curled up in our recliners in our slouchy clothes, together.

It was perfect.